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Slick, futuristic designs are all very well, but in reality, they don't really make you smile inside. Just like your trophy ex-model wife who you now believe only creates strife. That's why you grinned at the new Ford-licensed Mustang Boss 429 (red), Boss 302 (yellow) and Mach 1 (grey) from Classic Recreations because it was 1969 all over again, and you secretly decided the $200,000 saved for the kid's college fund in the joint account might be put to better use. So how can these ultra-desirable, hand-built cars shake a marriage? The reasoning follows:
1. You've got several engine options (including Ford EcoBoosts) to intoxicate you from A to B, and subsequently, Highway 61. After all, you'll need to create distance rapidly when the wife starts throwing shoes at you for blowing Junior's university fees, and your top-of-the-line Mach 1 with the 670 hp Boss 9 Crate V8 upgrade is designed to do exactly that. "He can flip burgers and study", you barked as you took off.
2. These modern classics come standard with Tremec manual transmissions, so it's not pedal to the floor and arm on door that you detest in your present XC90, but you'll drive stick like you always wanted. A refreshing change from joint decision making and "You know the Volvo's best for us, baby".
3. Mustangs didn't have race-inspired, multi-link suspension back in the late 60s and early 70s - you'll be able to take on everyone in the twisties now. But since you can also drift and hooliganize at will, there's plenty to do with your time and you don't leave her a single voicemail.
4. You drop names like Worx, Stealth, Magnaflow, and Becool at the pub, instead of always nodding quietly at your barbecues in feigned approval of the lady's loudmouth boss and his standard conversation starter of achieving 531 miles on a single charge in his Model X. Mind you, over weak punch.
5. But while you opted for the Mach 1's gorgeous leather seats to hold you during your escapade, they'll never hug you as tight as your Maria when you do eventually go crawling back. She's always right, that even the most beautiful Mustang in the world can't fight...